- You are the only person in the world who can accurately sort your children’s socks.
- You have difficulty scheduling a shower.
- On any given day, you can report how many times each kid has pooped.
- You know how to fold the stroller so that it fits in the trunk.
- When your partner approaches the baby, he screams “No!” *
- When you leave your partner in charge of the kids, you feel a need to explain what’s available for them to eat.
- You use the phrase “leaving my partner in charge of the kids”; for your partner, the term is just “leaving.” **
*True story: When Kellie watches Stump, she usually takes him on a long walk in the stroller. The other day, Stump was looking out the kitchen window and he spotted Kellie taking the stroller out of the garage. He shook his head emphatically and cried “No! No! No!”
**Note: Should Kellie ever decide to start a blog, she could easily write a similar list about being the primary home maintainer. I have no idea how to change the line in a weed wacker and I haven’t mowed the lawn once since our first son was born.
I’m sure this list could be longer. What did I forget?
Jennifer Berney 
Haha. Good list. I have one: You cannot use the toilet in peace.
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Yes! Can’t wait for the day when I can…
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Yes! #6 is super-true.
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When I wrote that one I thought maybe I was just revealing myself as a micromanager. Then twenty minutes later when I was getting ready to leave I told Kellie that the baby would probably need a snack when he woke up and she asked “What should I give him?”
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You leave for a long weekend and when you return, you’re the only one (including the non-birthing parent and the daytime childcare giver) who notices your son’s front upper tooth has a big chip missing from it. (“Are you sure that wasn’t already there?”)
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You know what I notice? That I think I’m being paranoid when I have concerns about leaving the kids in the care of others. Then I come home and learn that I was right to worry.
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Listen to your paranoia. It is a manifestation of your mama-tiger gut instinct.
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I had read somewhere that children tend to choose a primary caretaker. And I did my doctoral dissertation talking to mothers of young children. Some would talk about how they would ask their husbands to take over, but the kids would come searching for them, anyway. Some said the only way they could get relief was to actually leave the house.
And love your list!
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That’s interesting. What I find is that the roles reinforce themselves. The more time I spend with the kids (especially the baby), the more resistant they are to me leaving them with Kellie, but when we’ve got a regular habit going, it’s not such an issue.
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